I don’t know about you, but I have heard the word ‘authenticity’ an awful lot lately. And, to be frank, the more I have heard it, the more I have become uncomfortable with the way it is being used. Let me explain.
A man is upset with his wife, so he calls her horrible things in the front of her friends and makes her cry. He is called on it privately and says, “I was being authentic.”
A pastor is angry about a decision that he believed to be unjust – so at a meeting of pastors he uses foul language and describes how he wants to punch a fellow pastor. He is praised for his authenticity.
What do we mean by authenticity when we use it in this manner? It seems to be the case that we believe it is a great thing for people to communicate, as perfectly and completely as they can, precisely what they are thinking and feeling at a given moment. Therefore, whatever I say or do is to be considered admirable and even brave if it genuinely reflects my current inner state. In our post-modern, existentially driven culture this makes perfect sense.
But consider for a moment this ancient Hebrew proverb found in the Old Testament: “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (Proverbs 29:11).
The spirit of the wise man is quietly (within himself) restrained. The woman who would pursue heavenly wisdom will not allow herself to loudly declaim everything she thinks or feels.
What about the New Testament? Does it offer us any specific guidance about how we should process and express the thoughts and feelings we genuinely experience? I believe so, and the word we encounter in the New Testament time and again is our word ‘self-control.’
A good way to think about self-control very happily coincides with what the Greek word in your New Testament literally suggests. The word we translate ‘self-control’ has as its root the idea of having a ‘grip,’ or ‘taking hold’ of something.[1] In the case of self-control, it means having a grip on oneself – of taking oneself in hand. Consider the idea in our ancient Hebrew proverb above: we hold ourselves back – we do not give full vent to what we are thinking or feeling.
And now consider what the Bible explicitly teaches concerning this restraining of our genuine, ‘authentic’ reactions. In Galatians 5:23 we read that, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” In 2 Peter 1:5-6 we are urged to “make every effort to supplement [our] faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control… for if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.” Conversely, it is the wicked man who is to be avoided that lacks self-control in 2 Timothy 3:3.
Dear Christian, in an age when the world around us celebrates authenticity – even in some of its extreme expressions, practice self-control. Restrain yourself. Cherish and pursue self-control. In your Christian walk recognize thoughts and feelings that you need to cast away and put off the moment they suggest themselves to you. In your inner dialogue, be the wise Israelite who quietly holds himself back. If you have deep and violent passions, be sure to work through them with a counselor, pastor, or wise friend. Only value self-control as the mark of godliness that it is.
And consider what an influence such an emphasis on self-control might have in a world governed by ‘authentic’ passions. In Acts 24:25, when the Apostle Paul was being interviewed by the Roman governor Felix, we read that, “as [Paul] reasoned about righteousness and self-control and the coming judgment, Felix was alarmed and said, go away for the present…”
In an era of explosive passions and feelings-driven discourse, self-control is as important as it is revolutionary. Who knows how God might use us if, like Paul, we make it an essential part of our ministry and message?
Your Pastor,
Bob Bjerkaas
[1] The words commonly used for self-control in the New Testament are enkrateia and akretes; kratew means ‘to take’ or ‘to hold.’